Here's to you

So I've come to a realization lately. 

This needs to change. 

I started this because I am a writer. I was born, raised and continue to learn as a writer and I need to get back to the simplicity of that. 

I am trained to be a professional writer. I can write for an audience. I can please my readers. 

But thats not what this was supposed to be about. 

I have enjoyed having a readership and seeing the number of post views climb throughout my pregnancy posts and, now, my updates on Jack. 

But this isn't for you. 

This is for my family. 

This is for me. 

This is for Jack to know his mama better. 

This is to remember my journey and who we used to be five years down the road. 

I have found myself wanting to write in length about the way Jack rubs his eyes when he's sleepy or the way his smile breaks my heart wide open, but haven't because it might be too mushy or too unconnected for you. 

But those are the things I need to remember. 

I need to remember how hard the first week was after we brought our baby home. I need to remember the little things that make me swoon all over again for my husband. I need to write about my dad. I need to write about the words I hear that make me remember the core of myself. 

So things will be changing around here. I may not write for a while, I may write every day. I will write more personally. I will write more unhindered. I will not post new links to Facebook or Twitter. I will not write for you. 

I am so very excited for this change and to get back to the basics. To be simpler and more honest. 

Please do continue to check in from time to time about what's going on with us. You will just find less commercial postings. 

One blog that would love new followers is my sister's photography blog - A Little Pause. Check it out. She does amazing work that shows who she is and what she loves through photos. 

I hope you all have a great summer and are spending it with those you love most. We sure are. 

xoxo, 

-e

Back from hiatus

It's been a while.

J Bear and I are finally back in Williston with Scott. And it couldn't feel better to be back in our own groove. But in the past few weeks we covered a lot of area - Jack met a bunch of family, I had some "baby breaks" and we spent around 2.5 total days in the car. I couldn't be more proud of how my little man did. He was so good.

Here is the short story of our trips:

• We left Williston, packed everything up at home and headed to the doctor for Jack's 2-month shots. He's the strongest boy in the world, (I tell him that allll the time. My dorkness comes out when I talk to J.)
• We headed to the farm to spend the night with my mom and sister. They cooed over how big Jack has gotten.
• Lindsay, Jack and I left early the next morning to do some shopping in Fargo then arrived at my grandparents lake in Minnesota.
• Spent the next four days there. We swam, went to town for coffee, sweat out butts off, took naps and played games. Jack was attended to by great aunt and uncle Michelle and Roger, cousin Anna, great grandma, grandma and aunt Lindsay. He's one loved baby.
• We packed up and headed back to Gackle. Spent the 4th of July there. Jack somehow slept through the loud fireworks. We left the next morning for Wisconsin.
• After 12 hours on the road, we finally arrived at Prairie du Chein where we spent the next three days in 105*+ weather and 97% humidity. IT WAS HOT. We went to the pool, shopped, did some sight seeing, played games and attended my cousin Heidi's wedding.
• Jack spent one of the Wisconsin nights at a hotel. All by himself. With grandpa and grandma Kingston. Who were so very excited to have him to themselves :) Mama didn't really know what to do with herself.
• We packed. Again. And took a nice riverside drive toward Minneapolis. We stopped at Lark Toys and rode the carousel.
• Jack went to the Mall of America for the first time. Mom spent A LOT of time in H&M.
• Spent the night in a hotel. Went to IKEA the next morning. Then went back to Gackle, packed everything and went home to Washburn.
• Then packed for a final time, left a messy house, and made the drive to Williston. Where we both were verrrry excited to see daddy pants. 

I was really looking forward to our trip, and it was a really good time, but I'm so glad to be home. And I'm so blessed to have a home, with two of the best guys, that I can get this excited to come back to. We probably won't be taking any two week times away from Scott again anytime soon. But, we do look forward to hitting a different part of Wisconsin in a few weeks for our whole family to visit the Kingston's and possibly hit up the Dells. 

Now I'm going to get a little mushy. So X out of the browser if that's not your thing. 

I loved Jack when he was born. I loved him when we brought him home and when I ventured out of the house for the first time and realized I still smelled of my baby even in the grocery store. But like that song that says, "I thought I loved you then," I am smitten by this tiny ball of chubby baby more and more. 

Before, he was this familiar stranger. A little being that was part me, part Scott, part his own curious little self. Now he is just familiar. He's a face I look at 20 hours a day, and dream about the other four. He's coming into himself and we are growing together and as a family. And along with loving my baby more, I love my husband more. There's nothing like seeing the man you love smile and hold your baby and look at you and say, "We made this."

While we've been gone, I've taken so much pride in showing Jack to our family. This is so cliche, but there is so much purpose added to life when you're a parent. 

If Scott and I do nothing else right in our lives, we did something so, so good with Jack.