Yoga, again

So I haven't done yoga in, umm, 12 months. From the time I found out I was pregnant and was too sleepy to do anything but eat apparently.

Tonight was the first night back in and, boy, did it feel good.

What I love about it:
-relaxation
-STRETCHING (I love, love, love it)
-flexibility (or the flexibility I hope to regain)
-mindfulness, of my body and what I put into it and my sleep and just the core of me as a human (that sounds so cheesy but it's so true)
-it's not running (I hate running, I've tried to love it, I just can't)

I hope I can continue with this. Tonight I did an evening practice from yogaflo.com. I've been so, so tired lately that my face just hurts. Now, my face hurts a little less.

I wasn't too sure how it was all going to work with baby Jack here and all the attention he thinks he needs, but he did really well while I practiced. I think he was mostly wondering what in the world his mama was doing and why she was moving all strange-like.

It's been 15 minutes and I can still feel it on me. I kind of want to do another 30 minutes. Just the fact that I got up and DID something makes me feel good. I've been so stinking terrible lately. I owe it to Jack and Scott to be healthy and look and feel my best and have energy for them, but mostly I owe it to myself. I'm me again (with a "mama" added to my title) after lending my body to my baby. I love yoga, and I need to remember to do the things I love too.

Here's a little picture to make this post adorable:

Three & four months of Jack

Weight 
19 lbs 10 oz. Back on the charts! (Before we were over the 100 percentile. Now we are about 90-93%)

Diapers 
Size 3

Hair
Your little boy hairs are coming in! Some of the hair on top is an inch or so long. You have one hair that is about three inches long, though! It's really funny. But there are all of these short spikey hairs coming in and they are soooooo cute :) Your old man hair is slowly going away and the bald spot on the back is disappearing. 

Clothes
Officially out of 0-3 months. Anything from 3-9 months fit right now. And you're in 12 month for the snug-fit boy jammies that are so darn adorable. The glow-in-the-dark dinosaur ones are my favorite. You look so handsome in green. I'm searching all the internet for the perfect winter hat. I think I've found it on Etsy. I'm so excited for fall and to dress you in warm clothes and boots :)  

This months firsts
>You're talking up a storm! It's the sweetest thing and you are so darn SERIOUS about it.
>Eating your hands. Sometimes you gag on them, you have them in there so far. Oh, and daddy taught you to suck your thumb. You're good at it 
>You rolled over!! Just a few times from your tummy to your back, but you did it!
>We took your first trip to Wisconsin to see grandpa and grandma.
>You smile and giggle all the time! It makes me so happy. Sometimes you laugh and I think you dont know what's happening because you squeak and catch your breath :)
>Oh, and this. So you think you're funny sometimes when you decide to pee with your diaper off and shoot mama. Well, the other day you peed and you shot it straight up and it got you all over! Not so funny when you're on the receiving end, huh? :)

You like
Riding around and being with mama. You are in the kitchen cooking with me, watching me get ready in the morning and helping me fold laundry. 
Being bombed into pillows by daddy. 
Looking at yourself in the mirror.  :)
Tickles.
Taking baths. 
Playing on your tummy. 

You don't like
Playing too long on your play mat. You get SO frustrated with that thing. 
Being ignored. 

Mom loves
When someone else has you and you just keep your eye on me, giving me this sly little smile. I'm so glad you know and recognize me. It's such a wonderful feeling. 
When you burry your face in my neck. 
Morning smiles. You are so happy in the mornings. Basically anytime you smile or laugh at me. 
Watching you and dad play. 
When all three of us crawl back into bed in the morning. Nothing sweeter.

Dad loves
When you rub your eyes when your sleepy. 
Wrestling around with you. 

We had a poopy diaper incident so these are the best we could do :)

I am reminded every morning that you're growing up when you're heavier and heavier to lift out of your bed. Although I miss you as a tiny baby I love ev est adventure yet. We love you, Mama and Daddy bes

Wednesday nights

I learned a lot about myself on those Wednesday nights. 

We didn't realize then, and I may not even fully now, but our friendship is not common. I'm not sure if the average human even knows themselves as well as we did at the age of 16. 

See, Wednesday meant youth group. It meant a 50 mile drive to Jamestown and back. It meant learning about Jesus together. And then staying up all night talking about us and them and who we dreamed we hoped we would become. 

And by them, I mean them. The boys who taught us what our hearts could feel. The bad boys who were bad for us and so we felt even more. 

Each of us had one. They were older, they were taboo. They were slightly unattainable and we were okay with that. I'm not sure a girl's heart really recovers from what those kinds of boys can do to them.

Nothing ever really happened with either of us or either of them. We barely talked outside of MSN Messenger and a few hand folded notes. But at the time it was life itself, and rightly so. It was the biggest thing that had ever happened to us. We didn't know what those feelings meant. And we went through it all together. 

Those Wednesday nights we dove in and shared and explored the depths of who we were and what was going on with us. The process of growing up and surviving being a teenager, we figured it out together. We cried and laughed and dug into learning about love at a young age. 

I learned who I was with her. 

We grew up and our situations didn't line up like they used to. And now we are in very different places. I've chosen my path and she is at a beginning of a million different ones that are begging her to choose. 

You know who you are. You couldn't be anyone else. 

Even though we don't have Wednesdays anymore, we've got a lifetime of Tuesdays and Fridays left. I want to live through you the life you're embarking on. We will probably never be in the exact same place again. And all of this sounds just as silly and true as it did back then. But I'm connected to you like no one else. No one knows me in the same way you do. And those nights will forever string us together and you're stuck with me. Not everyone gets a friend like you. I'm so excited to see where you're going and who you will become. Remember, it was either the farm or something besides the farm. And we'd always wonder what the other would be like, but the one we chose would be satisfactory and good and better than okay. Remember that? 

We just need to remember to bring each other along. What we started back then is just the beginning. 

Love you, friend. 

Dancing deck

Today has been a good, good day. 

It's been overcast, rainy and dreary. Which is always accepted in my book, but especially on a Saturday. We did get out of our pajamas… so we could take a bath and put clean jammies right back on. 

I felt ambitious, so I grabbed a bottle and the Bumbo and headed downstairs to my mess of a craft room and started digging. One hissy fit, a bottle and a nap later, the room is now spick and span. And the downstairs bed is made up with clean sheets. 

It's been raining now for a few hours. Just a slight, slow rain. A half hour ago I grabbed Jack from playing on the floor, opened the patio door in the kitchen and comfortably situated ourselves on the floor looking out to the back yard. Just far enough inside to remain dry but still smell the rain. 

We both became quiet and just watched (and one of us began blowing spit bubbles). 

The rain made the deck dance. 

Sometimes when a raindrop would hit, it would shatter into a bunch of tiny water balls that skimmed across the surface of the wet wood. 

How far do rain drops fall?

I hope I can remember to teach Jack to find those little skating water drops. And to appreciate them. And to be fascinated by them. 

I hope we turn off the TV often. Turn off the music and the humming of the everyday and sit quietly. With love and welcoming swarming around us while we dream alone together. 

I need to remember to be simple for my son. 

I don't remember the hustle and bustle of my childhood. I don't know how we learned to be in a hurry.

I remember, most, the times we were together. In the evenings when everything seemed to calm down. When we broke rhubarb leaves to use as baseball bases. When we all sat down for dinner and talked about our day. When we brought the board games out. 

That is what I want Jack to remember when he is grown. Not that we never had enough time - that we took the time. 

Now the day is drawing to an end and we will start new in a few hours. I have the sweetest baby sleeping on my chest and the rain is still slowly dancing on the deck. I'll do my best to remember this in the morning. 

Size three and some shoes

I bought a box of size 2 diapers three weeks ago. Jack recently graduated to numero dos and I figured why not stock up. 

Today I'm returning the unopened box. For a different box. Size three. 

My baby is growing and healthy. "Healthy" is what the kind people say about him to me instead of, "Hey, your baby is HUGE." I am truly blessed and thank God for this so-close-to-perfect child. 

But every time I linger a little too long before moving up a size in diapers. I think that maybe if I move it around a little, reposition it, and it'll fit better. But once again, my baby has graduated onto another stage. This time, size three dipes. A high school diploma next. 

Today we are going into town to hang out with my best friend Lisa. Jack will be wearing the little baby size two sandals she bought for him. Another milestone that tugs at my heart. When I tried those shoes on him three months ago, his foot disappeared. Now, they are a bit snug. 

Jack, You'll never know how much I love you until you have a baby of your own. Your smile bursts my heart open. It is one of the greatest joys in my life. I can't wait until you're crawling around and walking and talking my ear off. But all that can wait a little while longer. I love you right now, squirming around on the floor in your dino jambes, talking gibberish to no one in particular. Slow down, sweet boy. THere is no hurry. Love, Your mama